Saying Good Bye Grandma Ryan, Rest in Peace

Today at 3:00pm Grandma Linda passed away. She had been fighting the battle with Cancer for almost a year and on November 4th, 2007 at 3:00 pm she is finally in a better place with no more pain. Donny called me at 3:00 and told me the fight is over, I wasn't able to talk so we ended up hanging up. He called me back a couple of minutes later and I was just getting ready to leave and go to the AngelsGrace Hospice in Oconomowoc. I left Cameran at home with my mom. Don's dad and girlfriend and Cam's cousin we also at our house for a little dinner and cake for Cam's Birthday. On the way over to be with Don I had a lot of different emotions running though me. Sad, mad, thank full, and scared. When I got to the Hospice it was very, very sad. After everyone got to say there good buys the Funeral home came and we walked her out which was even harder. What I keep telling my self is she is in a better place and she is Cameran's little angle. She always said she wanted to make it to Cameran's Birthday party and she did. We will always remember this day and we will always celebrate her life, her fight, her strength, and her stubbornness :)(which I believe got her though a year of fighting Cancer)


Don and I left the Hospice around 6:00 pm and went home to Cameran and my mom. We had dinner with Cameran and my mom and then we had Birthday Cake and then we opened up presents. It was a nice quite night.

We will miss you always and forever.
We love you Grandma and we know you are watching over us.


Here are a couple of pictures

Happy 3rd Birthday Cameran

Happy 3rd Birthday Cameran. You are getting so big and smart. You ask so many cute questions and I always try my best to answer them. Here are some of the things you have asked or said;
- you love calling everyone different names. like Grandma is Cameran, and Cameran is Grandpa Or Daddy is Grandpa and your Senta. You think its so funny.
- we were driving in the car and you saw some horses and you said, "look mommy the horses have pajamas on" and they you asked Can they were my pajamas?

We went for a nature hike yesterday and you get a little scared of deer and bears. So what I said was lets look for frog and Cam asked "Frogs no bit?" I said No and you came back and said deer bit and I said no. You then came back and said deer eat frogs, I then said No deer eat grass and corn. Its fun watching him start to under stand.

Grandma Linda, saying good buy

AngelsGrace Hospice is were my mother-in-law is spending her last days. One week ago on October 26, 2007 Donny and his mom went to AngelsGrace to get Linda a beautiful room to spend her last days in. A week has passed and she is know in a coma. The Doctor told us that it will either be tonight or tomorrow morning that she will leave us and go to a better place. On November 7, 2006 was the day we found out Linda had Cancer. They had given her 4 to 6 months if she decided not to do treatment. Linda did do treatment until they won't working anymore, which brings us to today. AngelsGrace Hospice is a beautiful, beautiful place. They have been taking really good care of her. Since she got to the Hospice a week ago she has deteriorated really, really fast. It is so hard to watch her like this. I wish I could help Donny but I have no idea what I can do or say. He his having a hard time witch is very understandable. It is just really hard to see your husband sad and even cry.

Tomorrow which is November 4, is Cameran's 3rd Birthday. I am so so mad that God could take Cameran's Grandma on his 3rd Birthday. This is suppose to be a happy day for him and all I can think about is how sad it is going to be, for Cameran and Donny. I feel all Donny will be able to think about will be his Mom. Which I understand, but how to I explain to Cam why daddy isn't happy on his birthday. I just don't understand why this could happen and how could it happen again.

I would like to go back two years, on November 2, 2005 Cameran's Great Grandma had passed away. She lived in Arkansas which means Don, his brother and his dad went down to his Grandma's to put her to rest. I would have gone but I really wasn't invited, which is besides the point. We had planned to have a big birthday party for Cameran, which Don wasn't at, which I understand. Last year we decided not to have a birthday party so this year we were going to have a big party for him because this year we are able to have it at our house because we live back by our families. On Thursday we decided to cancel his birthday party because Linda (Cam's Grandma) wasn't doing good and they only gave her a couple of days.

Cameran's birthday feels like its been jinks. His first birthday with his Great Grandma passing way, to his second birthday (actually the 7th of November) we found out that Linda (Cam's Grandma) had cancer, then his 3rd birthday has been canceled and I believe his Grandma is going to pass way on the 4th which is Cameran's birthday.

What, What do I do. How does our family get passed this. How do I make Cameran's birthday a happy day again. How do I help my husband have a good time on Cameran's birthday without making it such a hard day for him.

Right know I'm waiting to get a phone call from Donny and it is so hard. I don't know how to feel because Linda has been though so much and she is going to be in a better place, but Cameran is going to grow up with out knowing his Grandma. He has had so little time with her and she's being taking way from us.